antispice1

I’m no good at sleeping

Fuckery bollocks I’m still awake -my son’s school was closed today (Monday- not catching me out like that!!) I’ve dealt with ponies, sheep, a weather warning, a geriatric crisis (who is awesome) my mother and a building crisis whilst learning how to help my most awesome child with algebra, fractions, and fucking nth numbers, prime numbers, square numbers a bad tummy and my epileptic spaniel with hydrocephalus and a fuck ton of meds whilst researching dementia care assessments and nailing red wine. I haven’t showered, I don’t think I’ve taken my meds and tomorrow is looking like today. Found a job I won’t get but need to get someone normal to sort the CV – £135 – unlikely but the council will be left in no uncertain terms once they’ve made their care assessment for my multigenerational commune family that they should have assessed her while she was in hospital and I wasn’t there

They always look incredulous when you mention quality of life,hours, manager, process and appeal

Fucktards and jobsworths – they’re so focussed on saving money you’d think they worked in the private sector. I vaguely recall having a moment of respect for Keir Starmer – I think he mentioned culling the middle management in the public sector to start it’s recovery – then silence…………….twat

The real reason I’m oversharing is that one (I have a selection) of my worst case ever scenarios is playing out in real life and the beautiful boy I am so terrified of fucking up is now, right now, dealing with the dissolution of the one solid always – his parents separating. This was a soul, character, existence altering event for me and my brother and has always been at the very top of my things – not to do if you care list – big fuck off hazard sign “Will Break Something”

Unfortunately, the home environment was becoming a worse option for my son. For some reason, the man I married 14 years ago, an empathetic, caring, kind human who saw me and all my failures but wanted me anyway, has morphed into the most closed minded, selfish, entitled, judgemental prick whose dislike of me has become pathological -HOW DO I PROTECT MY BOY?

Normally I’m a blunt instrument but I have a loaded danger pointing at my child – anything wrong and he has a harder time – I’m waiting on professional help but this horrific. I’ll know the outcome in about 10 years and while my brother and I are obviously awesome we are both deeply flawed beings who I think may have stood a better chance if my dad hadn’t pissed off with my riding instructor!!!!!!!!!!

What Twat Thought That Was A Good Idea

Apparently I did

I have legendarily had appalling taste in men – I’ve chosen a wide variety of fuckwits so cannot be labelled as bias – the main thing they have had in common is that they all turn out to be useless, pathetic, boring, unattractive morons until my final destination

I thought I’d cracked it – not a selfish boring moron….. until 15 years on when the job title “wife” seemed to become more of an issue. I bought special aprons to look the part but they came from somewhere with tiny people – probably for the best. My lack of enthusiasm for the activities fulfilled under the more traditional expectations of a “good wife ” have resulted in getting me sacked. In my defence, the job description took an unexpected turn and I wasn’t consulted.

I would also appreciate getting the fact that, at no point, ever, was there any pretence or false advertising on my part – I have always been aware and have never entertained any delusions of making a “good wife” Had I been told how important this an essential component of the position I would not have been offered the job. I understand that, over time, people and dynamics change, however it is also important to remember who you employed and why together with any extenuating circumstances such as illness, pain, life demands, menopause, mental health and difficult home life – like living with a grumpy, unappreciative prick.

Anyway, I need a new job – flexible work from home? I cannot cope with recruitment consultants – there is a hierarchy of self servicing jobsworths masquerading as do gooders – as a solicitor I’m pretty fucking low however (with bottom dwellers being the lowest scum suckers) recruitment consultants are near the bottom but above politicians. If the only job you can get is one to find others jobs by luring them in with an amazing, non existent, job that never arrives whilst judging and deciding how suitable you are and which jobs they will allow you to see whilst actually making sure that they look good, they don’t put through maybes that could affect their numbers and don’t give a shit about the job seeker, all in the name of helping you = that’s low. At least the tax man doesn’t lie about his function and I have to assume that he’s considered the ethics behind his job and agrees and accepts his function. I wonder if he ever has a career wobble when new taxes are introduced. Bit like a soldier in service when a new government comes to power – No, not doing it, Tony Blair’s a tosser and ,just no. There’s another job I’m not suited to!

Anyway, I now need to come up with a way to keep it all going and be home outside school hours and no- dock work is not an option

I’m good at assessing and summarizing concepts, theories, people and legal jargon. I am not a fan of poetry – why spend six pages saying I thought I loved you but no, when you can say I liked you until I realised you’re a cunt? However, I have even less respect for people who make it their life’s work to work out what the twat poet was saying. I hate it when the radio interviews artists (of any genre) about their work – they, without fail, have to have a higher calling, a moral or real life reason to justify their time and money they earn and it has yet to make me appreciate them more – well I wanted to highlight the struggles and unjust treatment of pink slippers in today’s society. Just fucking admit you’ve tried all sorts and this is the first that’s been popular. Fuck me – how the target audience is milked – an unmade bed that has a sanitary product by it was a fucking revolution – hark how it captures the desolate useless despair of the depressed – my god, I never realised things could get that bad. Open your fucking eyes and maybe your mind will follow!!!!!

Bollocks, I’ve just told my 11 year old that his parents can no longer stand to live together so his world is disintegrating around him just as mine did when I was 12. He deserves better – I couldn’t deliver but I did make it to Christmas

I disagree with the way society is run, capitalism and most of popular opinion. I’ve looked into declaring an independent state but I don’t like enough people to make it work. I would like to buy my local pub and run it for the people but I lack the balls to take a risk. I think everyone should have a house/home, basic amenities – energy, heating, water, wifi and universal basic income as standard and then they can actually consider what they want. The community that the ruling classes shit on and hold responsible for care, loneliness, obesity etc NO Fucking Boris isn’t caring for his granny whilst working for fuck all, without transport, getting home feeding 3 kids and going to another job because minimum wage full time means you still need a fucking food bank but Boris is quite happy to ask that community to rally around to support the lonely, as volunteers to do what should be provided for by the council but the council have spent everything employing new bean counters in every ineffectual incompetent local council and following it up with quango’s for the boys

NRW – oops we forgot to budget for the 26 million pound tax bill = never mind daddy tax payer will sort it – I wasn’t fucking asked???????

Crap wifey spice

Pissed Off

31 years since I declared myself as The Anti Spice to a society that thought female power could be promoted by a box set of labelled ladies in suitably skimpy clothing and unsuitable name tags

That is not how you claim your power, whatever the fuck you identify as.

Right now I’m skipping 31 years to have a rant about anyone of any gender that has a job they are paid for and (especially if that job directly involves the physical or mental health care of another) and feels ok with themselves sitting on their bovine, dullard, unenquiring arses watching others struggle.

The only cunt you are going to have to live with in this existence is YOU and if you think that that behaviour is ok then I hope that doesn’t change when you need care

Anyway, I’ve got grumpier with age but I’ve always been a bit ranty – unfortunately it’s all memory from here so a lot ranty and grumpy

I now seem to exist in a service role – I’m a shit housewife but good at looking after sheep. I have a science degree and am a qualified lawyer (lier – my son’s interpretation which shows great insight) I never would have projected a housewifely vibe but hey – there’s always the potential to change em

I’ve always thought that power comes from being yourself and not bending over to accommodate your peers or society (just don’t bugger others [unless they want it] or get arrested). I don’t have many friends but I don’t break anyone unless they’re a cunt

I have great potential but am a massive underachiever (quote of my mum!!) however I have rarely let embarrassment or fear stop me from being an idiot

I’ve promised my not yet teenage son that whatever he does , I’ve almost certainly done worse so he must talk to me whatever the awesome, muppet has managed – mine have been unbelievably unlikely and moronic with hints of unlikely survival. However, I think I’m taller than I am and hard as fuck – which thus far has saved my face. I am now, however, learning kung fu and I’m defending hard

Well, I doubt anyone will actually read this thing and some cunt has done some weird shit to the account which has taken me 2 hours to rectify – I was nearly renamed cougartiger!!! I have delusions of being a cougar if I had time to take off my wellies and raincoat, shower, ignore the apron and leave the geriatric commune to it’s own devices! Think I’ve made up the road a couple of times but back before 7pm – don’t bother with this if you want me to socialise – my last night out was last December in Bristol for my mates 50th

Feck the lot of ya x